I used to be a lover of shirts. Men’s shirts. I preferred the really big, straight ones. Finding (or making) them in interesting fabrics, colors and patterns was a favorite occupation of mine and my wardrobe would include a whole collection.
I wore them with jeans or tights. I wore them with a tight dress underneath, and the shirt barely buttoned, so that there was a hint of something feminine inside...
I sometimes wondered about this long lasting love story. What was it that made my heart beat faster?
One important clue was that I loved how it made me feel:
I felt free. I could move around just as much as I wanted.
I felt comfortable and natural. I could roll up my sleeves and do the dirty work as well as wear it with something nice and go to a party. Not too dressed up… and still feeling comfortable.
I felt protected… as if a tough and strong lover, or a dad I could always rely on, embraced me and kept me safe.
What I loved most of all was his simple and comfortable Soul…
After the first years of infatuation I started noticing less attractive character traits. The stupid collar, so complicated to cut and sew, what was it really good for? To strangle people? And seriously, those cuffs… Why complicate things when there was no need?
There is an expression in Swedish, being ”tillknappt”, (buttoned up) that refers to being uptight and reserved. This also bothered me. What were his basic values, really? Where did they come from and why did he hold on to them in the 21th century?
Since this was not just a fling, I didn’t just abandon my beloved Shirt there and then. I wanted to know him better. I wanted to understand the origins of those less attractive parts of him. Maybe I could help him peel off the flaws? Maybe I could help him change?
I wanted to find his true Spirit. I decided to find out.
To be continued…
Photo by Helga Weber