I have stopped trying to make myself beautiful. It all began with an aha-moment… I had never really felt beautiful.
That was why I had so often tried to look like somebody else and why I’d been drawn to a world of constantly changing fashion. I had done this for so long that I didn’t know how I really looked anymore.
I wanted to see through my own illusions about beauty. I longed to discover my own. If every single one of us was unique, we must all have our own unique beauty, even if it wasn’t in accordance with with current ideals. Even me. This became the thesis I decided to explore.
I dressed in simple garments that I made from basic natural fabrics. I stopped highlighting my hair and just let it grow as it wanted. I used very little make-up and only on special occasions. There were days when I felt ugly and awfully boring. But there were also moments when small glimpses of beauty shone through. I started to appreciate how my straight, greying hair looked when I just allowed it to be natural. I started to respect myself more. And I became very aware of the times when I didn’t.
Sometimes ugly is whatʼs needed to clear the way for beauty. When I allow myself to
express raw and real I feel cleansed.
As I saw this quote it set off a whole chain of reflections. Six months earlier I had done a detox and began eating raw food (uncooked, unprocessed vegetables, fruit, nuts and seeds). It was deeply cleansing and some nagging health issues immediately disappeared. Maybe, when we refuse to take in what is accepted as beautiful in the eyes of society, it is like a detox for the soul? What leaves our system when we do are internalized toxic messages, telling us that we are not good enough unless we try to mimic accepted collective values and ideals.
We are cleansed of the shoulds and should nots of fashion.
As I continued to compare my food habits to beauty and clothes, I realized that what I had been doing the last year, when I stopped trying to look beautiful, could actually be called Raw Beauty. I had returned to unprocessed essentials, to a more raw version of myself.
I deeply trust our body’s self-healing capacity, provided we give it the right care and nourishment. Since colors and visual patterns are food for the psyche, this must also be true: If we surround ourselves with raw and unprocessed colors, patterns and garments, our psyche can heal and return to its original state of wholeness and beauty.
This rang so true. I just need to further explore the concept of raw colors and unprocessed patterns…
Image: Gabriela Camerotti